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Family

  • “The family is the inclusive core of our worldly life, our most fundamental resource, and the paradise, home, and castle of our worldly happiness. Each person’s home is his or her own miniature world. The vitality and happiness of our homes and families depend upon sincere and devoted respect, true kindness, and self-denying compassion. All of this, in turn, depends upon eternal friendship and companionship, an immortal bond, as well as the belief that feelings and relations between parents and children, brothers and sisters, and husbands and wives will be everlasting.”1)
  • “Happiness in family life is possible and continuous through mutual confidence, sincere respect, and love between the husband and wife.”2)
  • “The special stronghold of people, and particularly of Muslims, and a sort of Paradise for them, and a small, private world for them is family life.”3)
  • “… everyone’s home is a small world for them, perhaps even a small paradise. If belief in the Hereafter does not underpin the happiness of that home, the members of that family will suffer anguish and anxiety in proportion to the compassion, love, and attachment they feel for their family. Their paradise will turn into Hell and they will have no option but to numb their minds with temporary amusements and distractions. Like an ostrich that sticks its heads into the sand thinking they cannot be seen by the hunter, these poor people plunge their heads into heedlessness in the hope that that death, decline, and separation may not find them. They seek a way out of their terrifying predicament by temporarily anesthetizing themselves. The mother, for example, trembles constantly at seeing her children, for whom she would sacrifice her soul, exposed to danger. Children, for their part, feel constant sorrow and fear at being unable to save their father or siblings from calamities that visit families only too often. Thus, in this tumultuous worldly life, the supposedly contented life of the family loses its happiness in many respects, and the kinship and close connections forged in this brief earthly existence do not result in true loyalty, heartfelt sincerity, disinterested service, or real love. Good character declines proportionately and is often lost completely. However, if belief in the Hereafter enters that home, it illuminates it completely: its members develop respect, love, and compassion for each other, not merely for the sake of relationships in this brief worldly life, but for the sake of their continuance in the eternal realm of happiness that is the Hereafter. They respect, love, and show compassion to each other sincerely; they are loyal to one another and ignore each other’s faults and their good character increases accordingly. As a result, the happiness of true humanity begins to develop in the home.”4)
  • “The purpose of marriage is not pleasure; rather, it is to establish a family, ensure the nation’s permanency and continuation, save the individual from dispersed feelings and thoughts, and to control physical pleasures. Just as with many other matters related to our God-given basic nature, pleasure is a payment made in advance to invite to and encourage marriage.”5)
  • “The family consists of individuals. Therefore, the establishment of healthy and peaceful homes depends, first of all, on the well-educated individuals. For this, the home should serve as a school; people should not lose their education on the street; the temple should breathe a spirit into them and be a source of life for them; school should show them high horizons and noble ideals. In a place where the home is scattered, the streets are polluted, the temple has become dry, and the school has surrendered to memorization and templates, generations will remain in the void. Unfortunately, today’s generations do not have such equipment, and because they grew up deprived of rehabilitation in this direction, they make their decisions about marriage, choosing a spouse, and then different kinds of situations that arise in the family, according to this short worldly life, so they cannot get rid of the spiral of intertwined problems.”6)
  • “You must inspire trust in the other side and make that person believe, so that you will be believed vice versa. You have to be loyal so that she can behave loyally. You have to take care of her so that she can take care of you. As this holds true for family life, which we can refer as the molecular structure of a society, the same thing holds true as far as a village, city, or state is concerned. Faithfulness, caring, attentiveness, and loyalty are responded in the same way. In fact, this was what the noble Prophet did. In the Farewell Sermon, he stated that they are (your spouses) entrusted to you, and you are entrusted to them. If you view the issue from a perspective of women’s rights, you see that defenders of women’s rights today remain so much far behind him.”7)

Further Reading

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Footnotes

1)
Bediüzzaman Said Nursi, The Words, New Jersey: The Light, 2013, p. 110.
2)
Bediüzzaman Said Nursi, The Gleams, New Jersey: Tughra Books, 2013, p. 278.
3)
Ibid. , p. 283.
4)
Bediüzzaman Said Nursi, The Rays, New Jersey: Tughra Books, 2010, p. 257.
5)
M. Fethullah Gülen, Pearls of Wisdom, New Jersey: Tughra Books, 2013, p. 37.
6)
M. Fethullah Gülen, “Yuva”
family.txt · Last modified: 2022/06/17 10:44 by Editor